Monday, 1 October 2012

Crash Bandicoot is the fucking dog's bollocks.

Crash Bandicoot is a fucking great game and I love playing it because Crash is an absolute fucking lad for loads of reasons. He went on a night out drinking once with all his lad friends like the hullabugga mask or whatever and that chick who is always on the bonus levels and they did loads of heroin and crack cocaine together because he is a lad and doing drugs are really cool. Doing drugs are good because everyone does them. Pete Doherty snorted cocaine and smoked heroin and that got him loads of friends, his closest friend in the 1980's was this person called Max Powers, who he loved so much, Max would follow him around and film him doing everything including private activities like having a shit in the toilet or going shopping. Max Powers once filmed Pete Doherty going shopping and Pete Doherty got loads of publicity for it as everybody found it really interesting to watch Pete Doherty taking loads of groceries one day and just buying them IN HIS TROLLEY!!!!! because that's what normal people do.

Anyway back to Crash, Crash bandicoot took loads of drugs with his friends and started walking around the place going "I'm so fucking Crashed maan" which is funny cause his name is actually Crash. He managed to wander around and just through up everywhere and he was smiling all over the place because he was happy cause he was with his best friend the hullabugga mask and his girlfriend from the bonus round. But unfortunately that night he beat up the chinese girl from the third level in crash because she kept on pushing him off and now he's in prison.

I hope you enjoy reading this and don't do drugs folks or you might end up in jail like crash.